I never really get into my personal life.. Let’s change that peeps!
For a very long time - years to be exact - I have been struggling with my chronic body pains + mental health.
For the past years I spent more hours in hospitals and therapies than I can count, I am not depended of the wheelchair nor being stuck at home anymore. I have to say I’m doing really great now! Besides the part I still have to live with the constant chronic body pains ( solk ). So I wanted to try some medical rehabilitation for the last time with the hopes in mind that I will be happier than ever.
Aren’t that some great new year’s resolutions?
I am kinda scared to tell you all about It but I thought ‘what the heck’.
Even though these three weeks will be intense I thought It would be an awesome idea to keep track of everything I do there and give you all a little insight in my life.
Like a public journal.
Monday October 05 2020
Week 2 of the rehabilitation has started with a good day. I slept great and woke up with a sweet dream. Love that for me, most of the time I have to endure a nightmare. Exercising went fine, I managed to do everything in the time that was planned. ( If I ‘fail’ doing everything in time it would be a major stress factor for me.. So I’m glad that didn’t happen.. This time in the mindfulness therapy I had to fight my tiredness.. omg it was so hard not to fall asleep. For the past years I always had a long naptime in my schedule, however I tried really hard to get most of that out of my daily routine.. It has cost me a lot of tears until now. Last week - my first week at the rehabilitation- I hadn’t had a nap once! That’s kinda great , kinda exhausting.
Tuesday October 06 2020
I don’t know what to say about today. Not because it wasn’t a good one, because I think it’s boring to say “today was another interesting day”. I do have to say that yesterday and today I had more trouble with my sleep ‘addiction’. I almost fell asleep while doing mindfulness and I couldn’t stop moaning during the therapy after that, RUDE! The therapy was about negative and emotional thoughts that keep you in its grip. Getting true this anti sleep period is getting harder and harder. That’s okay, it’s now 20:34 and I’m completely ready to fall asleep.. Goodnight, I hope that tomorrow I have something new to say.
Wednesday October 07 2020
My best friend aka my nephew is at our house every Wednesday. I love to spent time with him and + squeeze a little naptime with him on the couch. That’s one of the thing I miss when I’m not home in the evening. Besides my lovely naps ofcourse. At the rehabilitation we had some exercise therapy like always and a therapy with a physio. We had to sit on a balloon, like what the frick? That thing can’t hold me.. Well it actually did, but that’s beside the point. It had a deeper meaning but it’s too much and too boring to explain on here. Do you really think I would let my stupid ass sit alone on that balloon? No… When coming home I let my parents sit on that same balloon. Team spirit.
Thursday October 08 2020
I can’t believe that this week is almost over.. It went by so fast. Exercising was pain fuller than the days before and the therapy with the phycologist was harder to follow. What concluded in me doubting myself and getting more insecure about it all. After all these intense days my tiredness is kicking in on a next level. I have the feeling that last week I lived on some adrenaline or something. Nothing wrong with that ofcourse! However I have to give 200% to stay awake and get the best out of the traject. Hopefully tomorrow I feel a bit better..
Friday October 09 2020
Stress and tiredness were the keywords of this day. What concluded in anxiety and more tiredness.
This week asked so much more from me than the first. Exercising went fine, I did everything however it was so painful and hard. The therapy’s after that were hard to follow, all I could think about was staying awake. When coming home I thought it would be an excellent plan to do my nails, Well I thought wrong! I F’d them up, now I’m stressed and I have terrible nails. GREAT.
Maybe a weekend will clear my mind.
See you next week!
Hugs and kisses.